“You have a habit of repeating things that have just been said.”
This was an accurate remark made about me by my CEO in a board meeting. It was also meant as a put down. You know how you can tell immediately by tone and tenor when someone means something to be hurtful? This was like that.
As a young professional I took the comment as it was intended: a warning to stop repeating things in meetings.
This was unfortunate on many levels, and it took me years to realize I was not in the wrong.
What was wrong about this was that a person in a position of leadership was not recognizing that there are loads of different communication and listening styles and you need to make space for them, not shut them down.
In order to ensure that I understand not simply what was being said but what was being meant I often repeat what I hear. Repeating things back to someone helps them course-correct what they have said so that the intent behind their words is communicated and not simply the words.
Too many people get bent out of shape by the fact that they are not surrounded by mind readers who should simply understand and require no clarification.
While we often make this mistake the ramifications of someone in leadership making these mistakes are greater. This is because leaders are looked up to, they set the tone and shape corporate and team culture with their words and actions.
A leader who is a poor communicator often creates a culture of poor communicators. They also leave damaged people in their wake.
I have moaned about this before—why, oh why, do people remain in (or even take) positions of leadership when they are clearly ill-equipped for the role? It boggles the mind. It’s like having someone decide to remain in the position of bomb defusing without having any training.”Sure, people may die but that’s better than admitting I might need help or am not capable.”
So why do bad leaders hang on to or take leadership? The list is long: ignorance, salary, ego, power, and being pushed into it are just a few.
The worst leaders either get in the way of their staff (micro-managers) or act exactly like their staff to the point where no leadership is being exercised at all, leaving people feeling as if they are floating free in a vacuum. Neither is good leadership. Staff become frustrated and angry in both circumstances for different reasons.
Staff hate micro-managers because they’re made to feel incompetent and redundant. Absentee leaders create environments where others on staff unconsciously and consciously step in to fill the void, which creates conflict and confusion.
The best leaders focus on enabling their staff to do their jobs. Good leadership focuses on removing obstacles and creating an atmosphere of open communication. You know who the leader is, you know their role, and, most importantly, you know you can receive guidance and direction from them when required.
In the instance of having a staff person like me who uses repetition as a form of active listening to ensure understanding—a good leader knows this is healthy and allows it to happen, even affirming it when it happens.
If you have any authority at all (parent, teacher, boss, sibling, etc.) make it a goal in 2026 to humbly determine how you can be the best leader you can be. You won’t regret it and the people around you will thank you.
