What looked like a flawless, powerful performance in a recent play was a moment of panic for Rick Beers.
The Carman local got a substantial part in Back on Cue’s recent production, which is full of monologues and memorization. He spent two to three hours a day studying his lines, learning his script front to back, back to front. But two weeks before the show, he lost all his lines for about an hour, the words gone in his brain. It all came back soon enough, but it happened again during the show on closing night.
“Luckily, what I was experiencing in that moment — frustration, fear — was close to what my character could have been experiencing, so I just let loose with those thoughts,” he said. “Some told me how I did such a great job acting those lines out. Little did they know.”
That wasn’t the first time Beers had forgotten something of note. When playing golf, he had started forgetting where he hit the ball. Even cooking. Though he loves to cook, he noticed his meals were getting less exciting and simpler. And if he left the kitchen while making a meal, sometimes he wouldn’t remember what he was doing until he smelled smoke.
“I noticed I was having difficulty keeping up with conversations,” he said. “If I had something to add and didn’t say it quickly, I might forget what that was.”
Everything started to pile up. Beers couldn’t find the words he wanted to say and was losing his train of thought. He was finding it difficult to take on new information, getting overwhelmed easily, and his concept of time was off.
So, he went to the doctor. After a slew of physical tests proved he was in perfect shape, Beers heard three words he never expected: you have Alzheimer’s.
“I remember feeling a bit of relief actually,” he said. “Because this is it. I don’t have to sit and wonder anymore and not know what to do.”
His doctor started Beers on a medication that will hopefully slow the progression of the disease, but it’s not sure to work. He’s currently getting his affairs in order — power of attorney, living will, finances — and is trying to learn all he can about his new normal.
Luckily, Beers has continued working through the changes and diagnosis. He’s built a career as a hairstylist, running up to four salons at a time, and the profession brings him pride and joy. One of his greatest fears is that he’ll have to quit that, too, before he’s ready. He’s also an avid volunteer and wonders how long he’ll be able to continue.
Beers is primarily concerned about his family and their future. He has friends with Alzheimer’s and visits them regularly. He sees what it’s like to live with the disease and what it’s like to take care of someone with it.
“They’re continually grieving for someone who’s not there, but they can’t put them in the ground yet,” he said. “They still have a life and now it’s going to be put on hold.”
According to the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada, care partners of older adults with dementia provide 26 hours of care a week on average. Each year, loved ones provide over 580 million hours of care to those living with dementia, equating to 290,000 full-time jobs. Forty-five percent of caregivers for seniors with dementia show symptoms of distress.
Beers’ life expectancy is eight to 10 years, though he and his doctors have no idea how quickly or slowly his Alzheimer’s will progress.
“How do you plan when you don’t know where you’re going to be?” he said.
He said his doctor thinks the disease started two years ago for Beers, which, to him, means he has maybe eight years left, half of them spent in a care home where he won’t mentally be. He estimates that the two years before he goes into a home will be spent heavily depending on his wife, Trish, which leaves him just two years.
“This can’t happen,” he said. “I’ve had a plan, a script if something happened. Palliative care, say my goodbyes, done. But this disease doesn’t support that script. Life is going to become improv.”
One of the people with Alzheimer’s Beers visits often lost their sister, and when he shared his condolences, they were shocked their sister was dead — no one told them, they said.
“To this day, he will have the same response,” said Beers. “He’s on five to ten-minute cycles. Another lifelong friend lies in a bed non-verbal, barely recognizable.”
Another friend with the disease often thinks he’s in Montreal or Toronto when he’s in a care home on the East Coast.
“How can this be that he’s talking to me, and everything seems normal, but things are very unnormal?” he said.
Beers is participating in an upcoming exhibition at Golden Prairie Arts Council (GPAC) in support of the Alzheimer’s Society of Manitoba. The “I Love My Brain” exhibition will display art in all mediums from anyone who submits. While raising awareness for Alzheimer’s, the exhibition will also accept donations for the Alzheimer’s Society of Manitoba.
Nigel Bart, executive director of GPAC, said the exhibition is for those living with the disease, those with a loved one, and everyone in between. Since January is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month, it seemed the perfect time to do the show.
“It impacts us all and we need to continue to do research and understand how our brains work,” he said. “The show will demonstrate the eagerness of the community to know and understand the best practices surrounding Alzheimer’s and dementia and any kind of brain injury and brain health.”
Through the exhibition, Beers hopes to connect with people who are going through something similar to him. He wants to talk with people in his situation, hoping to learn from them and heal with them.
“Alzheimer’s, as I’m beginning to understand, is one cruel disease,” said Beers. “It will slowly, each day, take a little of me away, leaving my family to take care of me, and from what I’ve witnesses, stuck grieving for much too long.”
The “I Love My Brain” exhibition will be at GPAC from Jan. 7 to 31, with the opening reception on Jan. 11 from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. The reception will feature poetry readings, stories from those impacted by brain injuries and disease, and more.
Statistics Canada reported deaths due to Alzheimer’s are declining, with 6,683 in 2017 and less and less each year until 2022, which saw 5,413 Alzheimer ’s-related deaths. The Alzheimer’s Society of Canada says as of Jan. 1, 2024, just over 733,000 people in Canada are living with dementia. Every day, more than 350 Canadians develop the disease — more than 15 people each hour.
Beers is living by sticky notes, reminding himself of everything and anything he can. He’s setting benchmarks for check-ins with himself where he’ll ask himself how he’s doing to gauge when he should be looking for more advanced care. He’s hoping it’s further down the road than the statistics say.
